Here you are again. Standing naked on top of a white metal scale, hoping for a different response. The three numbers you saw a minute ago were far too high. Maybe if you’re naked it will be different.
Frustration rolls in.
- Anger at yourself for eating that piece of candy you knew you shouldn’t have.
- Anger at your spouse for bringing home that delicious snack.
- Anger at your kids for being so damn picky that you have to keep pizza rolls and macaroni and cheese in the house.
- Anger at your toddler for waking you up at night and keeping you from having any energy to work out.
Anger. Anger. Anger.
Where does this anger get you? No where.
What does it get you? More stuck. More alone. More angry.
All you want is for those three numbers to change. But they don’t. Or if they do, they never make it to where you want them to be. You aren’t sure what to do next. You’ve tried all the things – diets, fasting, programs, shakes. You try to reset your expectations, but you still end up disappointed. And angry.
And then you give up. Because there is only so much anger you can take. You’re spread so thin and you just can’t do this any more. You’re trying all you can and falling short. To protect yourself, you need to get over this. So you stuff those feelings and thoughts aside, take a deep breath, and move on.
But do you really move on? Or is it still there, festering in the dark, growing until it can’t be kept quiet any longer? Only to appear again in a few months.
But what if those 3 numbers didn’t matter. What if they were just numbers, nothing more. No feelings or emotions associated with them. No right or wrong. Just numbers.
The fact is, they are just numbers. Numbers you have put value on. Since you put the value on them, you can take it off. I know it isn’t that simple right now but with time, it can be. When we place value on something we have little to no control over, we will be disappointed. There’s no way around it. Your weight is one of those things.
Weight is much more complex than modern medicine would like you to believe. Calories in equals calories out is a mantra of the past. We know that 10 people can eat the same diet and have very different outcomes. This is why no study can prove what the “best diet” is for weight or health.
Sure, eating hundreds of calories a day over our metabolism will result in weight gain. But what’s amazing is that our bodies are smart enough to know how much we need. When we need more, we’re hungry. When we need less, we’re full. We get into trouble when we try to manipulate this and decide how many calories we need.
We’ve focused so much on controlling things we’ve begun to think we can control our bodies. But they are far smarter than us. They are designed to survive no matter what.
Knowing this fact is essential at understanding how to move from that angry person on a scale to the person you have dreamed of being.
When you realize this, you can understand why your thoughts shape your behaviors. This means:
1. Restriction results in cravings, binge eating, and intrusive thoughts
2. Labeling foods as bad makes you want them
3. Biology trumps willpower
Our thoughts, beliefs and actions around food are ingrained in us from childhood. Many of us grew up around parents who were chronic dieters. It takes time to change these beliefs, but it is possible.
So you’re saying I can eat whatever I want?
Yes, and no. You can eat whatever you want but there is a caveat. It’s called Intuitive Eating. This is something that many people cannot do without practice. We’ve disrupted our hunger and satiety cues with schedules, diets and binge eating. Many people can’t tell you when they are full, half-way full, or hungry.
With intuitive eating, you:
- Take away the restriction and rules.
- Listen to your body and choose foods that will nourish it.
- Honor your cravings and use mindfulness practices to determine if it serves you.
- Restore your relationship with food.
- Feed yourself with foods that leave you satisfied and energized.
And then you forget about those 3 numbers.
Because they don’t matter any more. They carry no value or worth. You aren’t chasing them so you forget about them. Instead, you shift your focus to nourishment.
You feed your body. You move your body. You love your body.
Want to get started with intuitive eating? Head over to my facebook group Nourished and Content to find community and support.
BONUS! Click here to read more about my upcoming FREE holiday weight and wellness challenge! It will run 11/20-12/31. There’s a full post coming to blog in a few day. I can’t wait to share it all with you!